I'm an Addict

Why is it such a struggle to stay on a weight loss/healthy living change plan?!  Ugh I'm so frustrated right now it's ridiculous.  Here's the story.  On the 1st of January I gave up caffiene.  I hadn't been drinking very much, only 1-2 cans per day of Coke or Dr. Pepper but I needed/wanted to give it up so I did.  The first week was rough as it always was but I survived.  That week was also complicated by the fact that I had my first real period in 5 years during that time.  Lucky me.  It was hell.  My doctor had warned me it would be and I thought she was exaggerating but it was awful.  I could feel the hormones coursing through my body making me feel like a crazy person.  I had also planned to give up deserts and sweets that week but this hormonal tidal wave forced me to pick my battles and I stuck with dropping caffiene.  I did well on that and have done well ever since.  Although sometimes it is a challenge I am staying strong when it comes to the caffiene/soda.

The second week I gave up sweets/deserts.  This was hard for me but I did well and was successful.  However, I appeased many of those cravings with bread products.  Croissants, or rolls.  Whatever.  That wasn't helpful.  I wish I didn't like bread so much.

This week has been bad so far.  Today alone I had two tiny cinnamon rolls.  Last night I ate this popcorn that was a mix of kettle corn, caramel, and some other sugary mix.  Than I had a 3 Musketeers.  What the heck!  I will admit though when I ate that candy bar it made my stomach feel sick.  But I still ate it! 

Some may say that it's okay to indulge once in a while, but that strategy doesn't work for me.  I'm an addict.  Once I eat something like that it's a spiral of over indulgence.  That's one of the reasons I cannot have soda.  If I do that sugar intake makes me overeat.  It will take me a long time to learn to control myself.  It's frustrating being addicted to food because you have to eat.  I'm just frustrated and struggling to grab onto the self-control I displayed the past two weeks, today.

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