Dark Knight Epiphany

I went to see this movie.  A little known fact about me is that I love all the superhero/Marvel movies.  Maybe  it comes from having all brothers.  So when the Dark Knight came out I was extremely excited to see it.  Lucky for me my husband was willing to watch the kids so that I could get away for some "me" time to go see it by myself one afternoon.  It was great!  I loved it.  For some strange reason a thought came to me while I was watching the show.  "You just have to decide if you want to be this person or that person."  Mostly this was in reference to weight loss for me.  It was also in reference to some of my more recent thoughts on motherhood but I'll discuss that at another time.  

When making changes it can be difficult to let go of the old. It becomes easy to self-sabotage because the new can be a little frightening.  I know what it's like to be fat.  I eat what I want, feel crappy about myself, pretend like it doesn't bother me, become apathetic and eat what I want some more and stay fat.  It's hard.  It's hard on me mentally, all that beating myself up and cutting myself off from people or things I really want to do is hard.  

I saw this recently and it really fit what I've been feeling.  Life is hard.  When it comes to my fitness and health I have to choose my hard.  Changing my hard means I have the lovely joy of experiencing all these different kinds of hard.  Guess what?  (This is the most important part to remember!)

I've done them before and I can do them again. Sure some were harder than others but that really doesn't matter.  I think what scares me and what I allow to hold me back is that I'm not familiar with that hard.  While I was at the gym the other day it occurred to me that I may always need to meet with a trainer once a week.  But that's part of me dealing with my hard and that's okay!  So what if this weight loss journey is hard! Like most things it will be over with before I know it and I'll be better off because of it.  Hope you're enjoying your journey, whether your in the hard stage or wherever else.